silent spills

Went snowboarding for the second time. Had a bunch of discouraging spills (can you say “snow up your nose”). But my friends gave me a pep talk and some pointers. Left the mountain with a Decent rating. I’m eager to go back. I’ll beat you yet, Mountain. Oh yes, I’ll have my day soon enough, just you wait. I will tame thee. And tame thee in a stylish smooth carving manner, yes I will.

Also, in unrelated events, I have come down with laryngitis. Which means, I cannot talk. Not that it hurts to talk. Rather, the muscles in my throat just will not function properly. My voice goes all over the place, often ending on a squeak. It’s like being thirteen again. Except, without all that chubbiness and bad clothes, and hopefully with a bit more sex appeal.

Being unable to speak is really interesting. I’ve noticed it is really hard to get around in the world without speech. First of all, I obviously can’t use the telephone / cellphone at all. So that knocks out a major way of communicating over long distances (thank god for AIM). Second, people are forced to look at you when they speak with you because all you have to respond with is your facial gestures and maybe hand gestures or a notebook. Thirdly, it is damn hard to hit on girls.

So at the equipment rental place, there was this really cute asian-looking girl renting ski blades with her friends. I could have sworn we played the eyes-darting game. But hey, it was 9am. That’s too early for bravery. Later on, when my friends and I were taking a lunch break at the food court at the base of the mountain, I saw her again sitting with her friends two tables across from us. Look. Look away. Look. Look away. With my newfound swagger of the past couple weeks, I would have found a way to introduce myself, I swear. But then I realized that with my voice, there was nothing I could do but rasp as charismatically possible.

I pointed her out to one of my friends, and she said, “Go talk to her. Oh… that’s right. You can’t. Then, write her something! I know! A haiku. Write her a haiku. That will totally win her.” It was the stupidest idea I had ever heard. Hi, let me charm you with tradition forms of Japanese verse. After that, I feel shower you with praise in Greek lyrical form.

Anyway, so obviously, I never talked to the girl and will never see her again in my life. Well, who knows… Let’s give this a shot: Hi, are you an extremely cute asian girl with a bright smile and who wears her hair just so, that was at Mountain Creek on Sunday December 29th and rented ski blades at McAffee’s Rental Shop and ate lunch at approximately 2:30pm at the Vernon Base Area Food Court and may or may not have played eye games with a fairly hunky asian boy with wild hat hair and a sharp look about him? Please send me an email. And also, I apparently wrote a haiku for you:

i am without voice

you are sunshine and rainbows

please give me number

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