Greatest Hits Always Marks The End

Thanksgiving comes and goes. Apps still unfinished. Maggie Superstar is disappointed; she had high hopes for a “good writer like [me].” She cites my early blogging. My new shit doesn’t have the same zing. I feel like an aging musician living in the shadow of a kickass debut album.

I started reading some of the old stuff to glean some inspiration. Here’s my first ever blog post on April 14, 2001:

Greetings. This is my first post. Woohoo! I created this blog to a) provide a forum for my half-finished thoughts and incomplete essay and b) spare my friends of my unbearable introspective moods.

In this blog, I will rant, postulate, examine, emote, and, lastly, whine. If I stumbled upon an enlightening or beautiful thought, I’ll try to explain, elaborate, explore it and its implications. If I find something interesting on the web and it makes me think, I’ll post a link and my resultant thoughts on the subject. If I remember a word that I like a lot, I’ll list it, and use it in several different sentences. I’ll try to adhere to a form of grammar and style, in order to boost my languishing literary skills. If I use another contraction, I will edit it out. This is starting to sound like a constitution of sorts… sheesh. Alright, enough with the preliminaries! On to —

Ah, the youth’s exaltations. I have actually managed to stick to those basic principles. The past contains such gems as on Feb 1, 2001:

I just opened an orange I had saved up, only to find it had gone bad. … I don’t think one could find a more poignent example of an opportunity wasted than in rotten fruit.

And then there is the classic quips and nonsense that is actually thinly-disguised sexual frustration on March 14, 2002:

Twice this week, I’ve heard two different professors use the term “hippie” during a lecture. And both times, everyone giggled. “Hippie” is a funny word. It’s like hearing your professors say “yippay!”

Anyway, sometimes I figure it’s better for the rest of the world that I do not have a good singing voice. Because if I did, and you combined it with my charming wit, my powerful charisma, and, of course, my rugged good looks, I would be in quite the situation….. I believe the scientific term is: “vagina abundance.”

What happened? Did the spirit drain from this space? I think I need to cut my blog reading in half, leaving only those that represent unique perspectives, that of lawyers, large sunnyvale/mountainville company evangelists, and celebrities, and link blogs. I’m sick of punditry, my own and others. All the snarkiness out there is tiring and unnecessary.

I also noticed that irregardless of the time, I would always complain how shitty my blog was. So, that universal is comforting.

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