Selfish Crab

Upstairs Office has been peppering me with questions about my farewell party. I still don’t think I left enough of a mark to warrant a get-together, but alas. Eat and drink in my honor we shall.

They have been asking who should be invited to this thing. I tell them I just want people who at least know who I am. They should go around with photos of me, gecko, ant, and some miscellaneous interns. If a person can pick me out of this line-up, that person is invited.

I wonder if they’re going to make me give a speech. I should prepare some biting remarks. Anything, though, will beat out the schmaltz that Ant was dishing out during his goodbye breakfast.

# 2006 Jun 30    {work}    1

I’ve noticed since attaining halfway-out status, that my impishness has tripled. Coffee breaks a-plenty, to-the-minute World Cup updates (”goooaaaal!”), lounge lizard attire, it’s all there.

So naturally, my ears perked up when a little bird disclosed that our wonderful interim director had lent her vocals to a professionally-recorded album of worship music prior to joining the University. So, of course I am going to track down a copy of said album, and add its tracks to jukebox, of course! How could I not?

I will leave out the gruesome aftermath, but let’s just say you don’t cross a pregnant lady, no sir you do not. Sonorous Susan would probably have my head if I were to ever leak a single mp3 to the web….

# 2006 Jun 28    {work}    #

I gave up on Google Analytics cuz I just wasn’t their target demographic of underworld online marketers.  I got some free shiny statistics package instead.  The problem is that if you click on the mandatory logo, you can see all my stats!  This violates my internal sense of information security.

Am I going to wind up paying for something?  God, I’m starting to show my age… willing to pay premiums for services.

Anyway, if you know any good value site statistics packages, speak up.

# 2006 Jun 28    {meta}    #

People, if you want to rain treats on your IT group to win their favor, let us reconsider the sugared confections and junk food. What we really need is fresh fruit and vitamin pills. We sit indoors all day, staring at a computer. We already suffer from inactivity; why do you want to kill us softly with high blood pressure and cholesterol levels?

To review:

• cupcake ? breakfast
• 2 cups of coffee + 4 krispy kreme donuts ? brunch

# 2006 Jun 26    {nerd, work}    3

NY Times: Shengda College, located in central China, is affiliated with the larger, and more prestigious, Zhengzhou University. Its graduates are promised to have diplomas that say “Zhengzhou”, with no mention of “Shengda College”. When this year’s graduates received their diplomas, it read: “Zhengzhou University Shengda Economic, Trade and Management College”

Their reaction?

Beer bottles rained down from dormitory windows, leaving a carpet of broken glass on the walkways. Television sets and washing machines followed, according to students who participated and photos of the post-riot scene.

Groups of students marauded around the campus, smashing cars, offices or any piece of property they felt belonged to someone in power. The front gate and a statue of the college’s founder were toppled.

# 2006 Jun 26    {Columbia, Links}    #

In case you were wondering, the waitlist is not the giant blackhole of admissions I once thought it was.

# 2006 Jun 24    {Life}    3

compassionate hooks by selfish crab.

Bi-level hooks will probably be my longest-lasting nosy-suggestion contribution to AITGOC.

# 2006 Jun 22    {Life}    #

leaves by selfish crab.

# 2006 Jun 22    {Life}    #

Trailer for Charlotte’s Web live-action remake. Julia Roberts is Charlotte, and Steve Buscemi is the voice of my favorite: Templeton. If the carnival smorgasbord scene isn’t in there, I boycott.

# 2006 Jun 20    {Links}    #

Seen: homeless person wearing t-shirt that read “I Survived the CFA Exam”

# 2006 Jun 20    {Life}    2

Last week was a complete wash. We spent most of last week trying to pick a new carpet and a new executive director. Who knew you could use the same selection process for both? Mmm.. consensus decision making…

# 2006 Jun 20    {work}    #

If I were a cute, intelligent girl, I would also probably definitely have my older, taller-than-6-foot brother accompany me as I attend a boisterous birthday where I could meet literate and witty friends of my friend and keep them afar even though I might, possibly, be giving them googly eyes, should I know what exactly googly eyes entail. Furthermore, I would never dance farther than one arm’s length away from said sibling, even if my arm be one of those slender model-like appendages that instill jealousy in other girls. I mean, who needs conversation where a friend of a friend might ask piercing, yet compassionate questions about my life, all while engaging in gentle wordplay and the kind of repartee found only on the Gilmore Girls? That is to say, it is most likely a terrible tactic to, say, kindly chat up my brother and befriend him, and even be as cognizant as to address how odd it is to go out to bars with one’s sister. What would be a proper ending to this night?  Ah I know!  I shall slip quietly out the door.  Poof.

# 2006 Jun 17    {Life}    3

bee 2 by selfish crab.

Personally, I would be cranky all day if I had to hover while eating my food, which was stored in little vessels in the gentalia of another animal, that grew tall and high.

Also, what’s up with being issued a stinging weapon that can only be used once, which then  promptly causes my death?

# 2006 Jun 14    {Life}    4

how to eat a cookie by selfish crab.

From aforementioned aitgoc get-together.

# 2006 Jun 13    {Life}    #

Well, that was fun (flickr friendship required, to protect the innocence of babes.)

Who would have thought an inability to play with babies would be a source of such glaring awkwardness?

# 2006 Jun 12    {work}    #

Down to 49 boogs. Can you believe that? Under 50! This is the amenable lightness of having one foot out the door.
If you want to be me, you may continue your life quest here.

# 2006 Jun 10    {work}    #

Another one for my brown friends.  This year, four years after their formation, CU Bhangra wins Bhangra Blowout.  (Don’t miss the performance video.)  Extra special mention to sunz.  Someone had to lay the groundwork.

# 2006 Jun 7    {Columbia, Links}    #

A moment, kind reader, to let pass wisdom from these lips.  Summer’s dress falls full upon us,  and her nights’ warmth doth coddle unseemly sprites.  So be this a warning: remain thy portals sealed, lest these fiends deliver an unkind kiss, and a fortnight’s passage before ye be healed.

# 2006 Jun 7    {Life}    3