Selfish Crab

I wore my favorite blue pocket T today, hoping it might cheer me up. It did not.  So much for the regenerative powers of materialism. It’s not quite “blue” either . Perhaps a kelp, chalk, navy amalgam? I often get these things wrong. One time, at a department store, I responded to my then-girlfriend’s new perfume by saying, “Yeah, it’s nice. I like it. It smells like… bubblegum.” Friends, apparently no good perfume smells like bubblegum. Boy, did I get it. She called over the counter-lady, repeated what I said, and then they were both chirping in my ear. Definitely not bubble-gum. Maybe it smelled like chewing bubblegum on the beach. Someone should market the salty scent of evaporated tears. Think of it: a girl passes; her aroma wafts by. She smacks of life experience.  Sigh. Life rests on gossamers, in 2007.

# 2007 Jan 30    {Life}    #

embers by selfish crab.

Filed, emphatically, under Life.

# 2007 Jan 28    {Life}    #

Question: I would like to know what I should do with my life. I am 22. I am thinking about going to law school because you can apply a law degree to many occupations. Do you have any advice for someone my age in my situation? Thank you.—Robert Cassel

What follows is The Morning News’ Non-Expert on Lawyering [via K].

# 2007 Jan 27    {Links, law school}    #

When I say, “I am tired. I will just take this last reading assignment home and read it in my apartment,” I am actually saying “I am not going to read this at all.”

Crabbiness at a high, if you can’t tell.  I hope these 3 posts last you til Monday.

# 2007 Jan 25    {law school}    #

Attorney General Gonzales apparently recently asserted that the Constitution contains no right to habeas corpus. Let’s ignore the policy implications of this and instead completely focus on the logic of his reported argument.

1. US Constitution Article I § 9 states that, “habeas corpus shall not be suspended unless … in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it”.
2. Gonzales: “The Constitution doesn’t say every individual in the United States or every citizen is hereby granted or assured the right of habeas.” [Q&A transcript missing, but here's his speech]
3. Therefore, the right to habeas corpus is not protected by the Constitution.

This is fun logic.  See if you can work out the next one by yourself:

1. The 1st Amendment states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press;”
2. …
3. …

# 2007 Jan 25    {law school}    #

Today in Civ Pro, I got called on to discuss FRCP Rule 9. I survived but what was irksome: a classmate had the fucking nerve to approach me after class and ask, “dude, did you do the assigned reading for today?” Yeah, I did, you fucktard.

I still spend half my time in class questioning my law school experience; and the other half is spent feeding, like a pet under the kitchen table, a growing sense of despite towards my classmates, those sniveling participation whores. Them and all their employment opportunities.

# 2007 Jan 25    {law school}    1

A personal statement of no more than 500 words addressing your qualifications in relation to the selection criteria above and describing your interest in the fellowship opportunity;

I am a wonderful human being, but a terrible applicant. At everything.

# 2007 Jan 24    {Life}    #

they’re out there by selfish crab.

Black & White + Macro + Turk = afternoon of fun for an apartment-crazy law student

# 2007 Jan 22    {Life}    #

Last night, another fitful night, I dreamt I received a 5 foot tall document shredder for my birthday gift. And I loved the thing.

The dreams/nightmares are the most harrowing part of law school. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

# 2007 Jan 22    {greatest hits, law school}    1

I visited the bank counter to cash a suspicious looking financial aid check from my school. At transaction’s end, the bank teller asked, “You go there? What’s your major?”

“Law,” I replied.

“You’re going to be a good lawyer,” she said.

“Thank you. What makes you say that?”

“Just the way you approached me and asked me about the check and how it is cashed. You’ll be a great lawyer, I can see it.”

True story.

- – - -

There you have it; consider it added to the testimonials.

# 2007 Jan 22    {law school}    1

In case the 3 day lapse in an otherwise almost zealous, tat-tat-tat pace of blogging did not tip you off, school has resumed. This semester I resolve to:

1. take notes in full cognizance of each note’s relevance to the course material as a whole.
2. learn to speak to a professor.
3. learn to speak to a professor during class.
4. earn at least 2 A-’s.
5. secure a summer job.
6. pass the patent bar.

# 2007 Jan 19    {law school}    #

roof at dusk – 2 by selfish crab.

Twilight was always my favorite time of day, and zone.

# 2007 Jan 19    {Life}    2

Last night I dreamt I lived in the province of Words. I bent down and strapped “jook” to my feet. And they served brilliantly as roller blades.

I also had to protect a Princess June from some marauders, but that’s another post for another time.

# 2007 Jan 16    {Life}    1

Defense Attorney Accused of Running NYC Call Girl Business. See also NY Times. Of course, NY Post has all the juicy details:

Manhattan prosecutors say that Itzler, 39, had paid the married father of three from Morganville, N.J., quite well to launder the proceeds at the Worth Street brothel. Bergrin allegedly got $5,000 cash a week, plus all the $1,000-an-hour prostitutes he could handle.  [source: Pimp Slap Betrayals, NY Post]

Another defendant in the case is James Cort0passi, Bergrin’s law clerk and neighbor.

The ol’ neighborhood is certainly rife with secrets, neh?

# 2007 Jan 16    {Life}    2

Video:  Le Grand Content. Like a film version of indexed.  For my information visualization heads.

# 2007 Jan 16    {Links, nerd}    #

Over the weekend, I did what I sometimes do: drowned in my nervousness and Selfishly flaked out on someone. This action apparently triggered a match of intergalactic romance chess, where one party tries to outflank the other to control of the burgeoning lump in my throat. In short, I was promptly counter-flaked, and it stung.

I am completely unequipped to continue this game. I don’t play from that playbook. I am of the Open and Earnest tribe. Honest. 2 Game Tips do not make me a gamer.

# 2007 Jan 16    {Life}    #

24-year-old NYU grad Alvin Cheung fell to his death early Saturday morning. Life is fragile, so far, in 2007.

Update:  I know people that knew him well.  Who are all you people searching for him?   Leave a comment.

# 2007 Jan 15    {Links}    #

mouth breathers by goopymart.

See also, TEH INTERNETS.

# 2007 Jan 11    {Life}    #