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I hope none of you ever have to experience the heartache of discovering that your own study group, that same group you have been with since week one, has been meeting in secret, without you. I was retrieving a reference book from the stacks, and there I saw them, in a glass room, sitting in their semi-circle of infidelity. Laughing, learning together. God only knows what topics they covered, what hypos they analyzed– oh, oh, my heart shudders.

I should have anticipated this. We have been growing distant in recent days. Our listserv has been cold. A quietude lingered over our meals. I refused to eat at Rafiqi’s. I even had a casual study date with someone else over the break. I hardly learned anything, I swear. Oh, this is all my fault. I let it all go to hell. And for what? A few cheap outlines? To see what it’s like to study with someone else? Out of jealousy? I am so sorry and woeful…

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