coffee hypo

Let’s say you happen to be in your firm’s break room, getting a cup of coffee from the coffee machine. Allow me to describe the coffee machine. This coffee machine is leased directly from Starbucks. It is grey, free-standing, and as tall as the fridge. The machine has two top-loading bins, each storing a different type of whole coffee beans. Upon the touch of three mere buttons, the machine will grind beans, clack-clack-clack, whirl, rumble, pause, and then dispense caffeinated nectar in 8 or 12 oz dosages. Its brew is strong and true, and its importance to the firm cannot be overstated. Good machine.

Now let’s say you are a thoughtful employee and you notice, after receiving your cup of coffee, the bean bins are running low. You decide to refill the coffee machine. You retrieve a bag of Starbucks beans from the pantry, open the bag, and take a deep whiff. Mmm.. coffee. I am one fine summer intern, you think to yourself, yes indeed

As you stand on your toes, reach up, and pour the bag into the left bin, two things hypothetically happen: (1) You notice that oh my god you are pouring an entire bag of “decaf” beans into the “medium house blend” bin; and (2) Two partners and a senior associate walk into the break room, carrying mugs. Congratulations. You have just diluted an entire week’s worth of coffee with decaf, and the partners are right behind you. Now, reader, what do you do?

  1. Close the bin, hide the empty bag, and pray for a placebo effect;
  2. Go back to your office, close the door, and sharpen your resume;
  3. Come back to the break room later, and try to mix in a bag of regular beans with the decaf beans, using a plastic knife as a spoon, hoping for only a slight average decrease in caffeination; or
  4. All of the above.

One Comment

  • supakage Says:

    You go for the ultimate placebo affect and “suggest” that the coffee is a bit more flavorful and robust today.

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