Selfish Crab

Wired:  Brief profile of Universal Music CEO Doug Morris, and the state of (digital) music sales.   A particularly infruriating passage:

Morris insists there wasn’t a thing he or anyone else could have done differently. “There’s no one in the record company that’s a technologist,” Morris explains. “That’s a misconception writers make all the time, that the record industry missed this. They didn’t. They just didn’t know what to do. It’s like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney. What would you do?”

Personally, I would hire a vet. But to Morris, even that wasn’t an option. “We didn’t know who to hire,” he says, becoming more agitated. “I wouldn’t be able to recognize a good technology person — anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me.” Morris’ almost willful cluelessness is telling. “He wasn’t prepared for a business that was going to be so totally disrupted by technology,” says a longtime industry insider who has worked with Morris. “He just doesn’t have that kind of mind.”

Amazing.   I wonder if the newspaper industry, a much older business, can use the we-are-excused-because- we-don’t-know-technology excuse.   What is it about the music business that attracts all the idiots and dirtbags of the world

# 2007 Nov 27 • From the 'Links', 'nerd' dept • #

I would like to briefly address the rumors of magical virility bestowed by time spent in Hamilton Hall.  Yes, it’s true.  If you wish to bear forth, work a few days in the basement,  close a few bugzilla tickets, and you will have your sons.

Congrats to everyone.  And, yes, I have some good name ideas.

# 2007 Nov 26 • From the 'work' dept • #

Status report:  um, I kinda sorta wanna quit it all,  and devote all my time to photographing street happenings and writing love poems and other nothings.  Am I feeling the weight of an as-yet insignificant quarter-life? Perhaps.

Let’s be honest though, I would be equally ineffective in a career as a street-happening photographer/love poet because, as is known, I am incapable of any sustained effort.  My attention is permanently transitory.  In fact, in the course of writing this post, I sent 3 emails, drafted an itinerary, viewed 15 random photographs on flickr,  modified my mopey-days playlist, downloaded the latest photosession onto my laptop, and exhaled thrice.

# 2007 Nov 26 • From the 'law school' dept • #

I am a former first-round draft pick, now restocking aisles at Walgreen’s.
I am a straight flush draw, all the way to the river.
I am the king of could-have-beens, the potentate of potential.
I am having a tough time focusing on–

# 2007 Nov 22 • From the 'law school', 'Life' dept • #

Finals are t-minus 4 weeks.  Which means the usual social embargo and prohibition and is now in effect, with the usual exceptions for out-of-towners or inconspicuous stress relief.  It’s a clear shot through to MLK Jr. Day from here.   3-week trek through India notwithstanding.

# 2007 Nov 19 • From the 'law school' dept • #

Part of the honey that lured me to law school was that there was a barrier to entry to being a patent attorney. This barrier to entry is made explicit in the eligibility requirements for the Patent Bar: if you don’t have an engineering degree, you can’t sit for the Patent Bar.

As you can imagine, not many law students have such degrees; most are squishy history/political science majors. This has the effect of making patent practice exclusive, patent attorneys scarce, and market demand for patent attorneys allegedly high.

What constitutes a “technical background“? In short, if the word ‘engineering’ appears on your degree (i.e. bio-med eng’ring, electrical eng’ring, computer engineering), congratulations, you have met the technical background requirement. The purer math/science degrees are forced to qualify under “Category B”, by dissecting their transcript to find fulfillment of X hours of physics, chemistry, and lab work.

The asterisk here belongs to computer science (CS) degrees. CS degrees will qualify if the university’s CS program is accredited by an organization named ABET. The rationale for the special treatment is unclear to me, but I can imagine that computer science field often inspires less than rigorous analysis.

Guess what Ivy League school has not earned ABET accreditation for its CS degree, making it a pain in the ass to take the patent bar?

# 2007 Nov 15 • From the 'Columbia', 'law school' dept • 2

Day 48:  Ran out of soap in the shower today.  Luckily, we have a gallon of SoftSoap under the sink.   Now I’m soft all over.

# 2007 Nov 13 • From the 'Life' dept • 2

Octopus bartenders + doe strippers + bear johns + orange-flavored juice used as a proxy for unwholesome substances = Orangina’s new ad campaign (possibly NSFW if your office is hostile to animated furries).

# 2007 Nov 12 • From the 'Links' dept • #

A 30 Rock clip, which will mostly likely become Alec Baldwin’s application reel for an Emmy.  [via vikks]

# 2007 Nov 1 • From the 'Links' dept • #

Boy, SEAS alumni sure do fall on hard times. Do NOT approach this man on the street if seen; handle with extreme caution. Maybe P. Kang is just a cruel taskmaster (not uncommon for a CC ’05).

# 2007 Nov 1 • From the 'Columbia', 'Links' dept • 1

I have decided to change careers yet again.  This time, I am convinced my true calling lies in writing.  This realization took hold of me during an evening of alarming possibilities in which a beautiful girl, of recent introduction, leaned in and whispered into my ear, “You have an amazing way with words,”  after which I found myself in a puddle of melted resolve lying at her feet.    There is a story here, but not one for this space, at this hour…

# 2007 Nov 1 • From the 'fictive', 'law school', 'Life' dept • 1