Selfish Crab

Today, I offer, as an exercise in contrast, the state of affairs of my dearest law school peers.   Early last year, I joined a fellowship of seven for the betterment of our collective education (read: study group).  The fellowship had fractured by the year’s conclusion. Yet good fortune rained. Of the original seven,  five did well enough to receive invitations to join Law Review, one transferred to Columbia Law, and, well, the seventh laid idle.  When autumn arrived, prominent offers of summer employment were abound, flowing forth like water from a fountain in which I did not drink.

Let’s cut to the short of it:  last week, members of my former study group each had their student note selected for publication.  One was just crowned editor-in-chief of Law Review;  another, its managing editor; yet another, one of its notes editors.  I am surrounded by their success and it is maddening.  My mind is a pot barely big enough for this  stew of jealousy I am cooking.  “Congratulations” is a long word, almost built for an envious, sarcastic twist at the very end.

Okay, I need to fucking re-double my efforts, and somehow find a way to squeeze a drop of outward success out of these three goddamn years.  Because I cannot stand another semester in a prison of mediocrity of my own making.

# 2008 Mar 31    {law school}    #

I think I’m backlogged in disaster interview stories. This latest one comes right after I returned from India. A family friend set up an interview with David Zanonymous from the firm Zanonymous, Whosdat & Doe.

The morning of my interview, I bring up Google Maps, and punch in the address “1300 Michaelsville Ave, ShoreTown, New Jersey”, print the directions, skim them (south… Rt 18… looks good), grab car keys, and I am out the door.

I am tracking for an early arrival to my 10:30 AM interview. However, I begin to have a feeling that Google Maps gave me the wrong directions. This feeling came at 10:25 AM, when I arrive and realize I have pulled into a trailer park.

I double check the print-out– Google Maps has sent me to 1300 Michaelsville Ave in OTHER_ShoreTown, NJ!!! I am 35 minutes away from the real location.

I call them. I’m having… car trouble. They can reschedule me (”I can squeeze you in, hon”) for later in the afternoon. In the afternoon, the lawyer rushes me through the interview, and shows me the door after ten minutes. The end.

# 2008 Mar 27    {law school}    1

a good start by selfish crab.

surprise, you can see the coast from the Coast Trail by selfish crab.

Alamere Falls by selfish crab.

king tree by selfish crab.

# 2008 Mar 26    {Life}    #

NY Times: Text Generation Gap: U R 2 Old (JK), in which NY Times discovers that !!gasp!! young people are sending text messages to each other, and that is changing (!!!) how people are communicating!!! SHITS!!! Here’s the requisite adult-missing-the-point moment:

“They don’t know that’s the time to carry on a conversation,” [a father] said. “I would like to walk up to some tables and say, ‘Kids, put your iPods and your cellphones away and talk to your parents.’ ”

But even he has found that enforcing rules is harder than might be expected. He now permits Savannah to send text messages while watching TV, after he noticed her using a blanket over her lap to hide that she was sending messages to friends. “I could have them in the same room texting, or I wouldn’t let them text and they would leave,” said Mr. Pence of his children. “They are good kids, but you want to know what they are up to.”

Was anyone else blinded by the gloss over? “grrr. damn those kids. no manners. my own daughter? ahhh, what can you do?”

I am surprised teenagers still write in that annoying shorthand. Why does the teenage eagerness for adult activities (e.g. sex, alcohol, driving) not extend to grammar, diction, and basic punctuation?

# 2008 Mar 26    {Links}    #

Columbia University is removing the Cyclotron from the basement of Pupin this week. One of the last remaining treasures in the tunnels:

Sealed off from public access, it could be reached only through the school’s underground tunnel system. … After evading security guards and traversing the tunnels, the group reached the basement of the physics building, armed with word-of-mouth instructions: Find the out-of-order men’s bathroom, and send the skinniest person in your party shimmying up the heating vent and into the hallway of the abandoned laboratories, where she can open the door for everyone else.

I was down there once for a secret AcIS (remember them?) UI tunnel tour, but we never made it into the cyclotron room.

Update:  Even better, this New Yorker talk-of-the-town piece was penned by  Kate Linthicum, BC ‘08.

# 2008 Mar 25    {Columbia, Links}    2

um people, you left something behind by selfish crab.

# 2008 Mar 24    {Life}    #

NY Times: Storming the Campuses: Yale kids and one Columbian, Isaac Silverman (CC ‘08?), build “multiplayer locally social gaming” in GoCrossCampus, a strange amalgam of Risk and the social web.  Don’t miss the fascinating slideshow, detailing plot twists of the Ivy League campaign.

# 2008 Mar 23    {Columbia, Links, rompin' years}    #

don’t look at me like that by selfish crab.

# 2008 Mar 20    {Life}    #

It seems the failure of one of my two memory slots is not an isolated problem.  Too bad the ol’ G4 Powerbook is out of warranty and excluded from the repair program.

I am not sure how much longer I can run at half power.   I am already eye-ing the new gear.   Why is the only laptop with a decent keyboard the most expensive model?   Does no one else find the new keyboards awful?  I mean, gaps between keys??? Where’s the tactile control?

Feel free to sound off on any recent mac lust.

# 2008 Mar 18    {nerd}    2

knoll by selfish crab.

Apparently a quick weekend trip to San Francisco leaves me with 300 photos. I need me some photography workflow software.

Can you identify the person?

# 2008 Mar 18    {Life}    #

My, New York knows how to best New Jersey.   Sure, New Jersey’s last governor resigned in disgrace amidst a salacious affair.  But New York’s governor has to go ahead and resign in disgrace amidst a salacious affair which actually involved illegal criminal behavior, for which penalties were strengthened by the stroke of  his very gubernatorial quill.   Stunning.

Also, just wanted to say that New York’s first black governor in history is going to be  Davis Paterson CC ‘77.   Somewhat related, former NJ governor Jim McGreevey graduated CC ‘78 (political science).

Honestly, I would not be surprised to see a Governor Gone Wild sex tape emerge.  Internets, make it happen.

# 2008 Mar 14    {Columbia}    1

Whoever the hell wrote the facebook “demo application” “Footprints” owes me an hour of my life back, and some peace and sound mind. Call me crazy but a demo and library kit should work out of the box, and not require me to, um, comment out swathes of your code to avoid PHP parsing errors. And by swathes of your code, I mean those segments of code which you said should work just fine with PHP4, yet nonetheless uses try-catch blocks. Moreover, who the fuck thought wikis as a substitute for developer documentation was a good idea??? Dev-community-written documentation is by large a clusterfuck.

Update:  if you too are interested in becoming a facebook developer, please do not forget to stop off at the Video section for a dose from the Zuckertron 1000.

# 2008 Mar 9    {nerd}    #

Readers, please pause the flood of incredulous letters.  I am a plausible sex symbol.  A feasible feast of the eyes.   I am, in fact, blossoming before your very eyes.   In two years’ time, I just may become  New York City’s Most Eligible Bachelor with an Unchiseled Midsection (it’s an abdomen of raw marble, really.)   My techniques are fine-tuned and masterful, and a best-selling Scrab’s Guide to Seduction is coming to a B&N near you.
Watch out.

# 2008 Mar 9    {Life}    #

My love life and my law career stands parametrically opposed.  That is to say, I cannot get law firms to give me the time of day.

I would love to dish more about the blooming fields of romance in my life, but now too many interested eyes now have the URL for this space, because, um, I gave it to them.  Well, more like I subtly led them here to help them realize what a develishly clever, charming person I am.   This subtle technique consists of the following:

Me:  Oh hey.  No, I’m not busy, just catching up on some blogs.  Do you have a blog?

Her:  [.... doesn't really matter what she says ....]

Me:  Haha, what me?  Nawwww…  well, okay, yeah I might have one. [LINK LINK LINK LINK].

# 2008 Mar 8    {law school}    5

Garfield minus Garfield — removing Garfield from his own strip turns “Garfield” into a tragic comedy of one Jon Arbuckle.

Somewhat related: removing Garfield’s dialogue makes the cartoon funny again.

See also, previously.

# 2008 Mar 8    {Links}    #

ht by selfish crab.

The last of the India photos are officially up and I can close that photographic chapter in my life. I need a real goddamn workflow program.

Of the original 1603 exposures taken, 601 made the first cut, of which 446 were finally uploaded to Flickr.

# 2008 Mar 5    {Life}    #

My greatest online discovery this month has been Steep and Cheap, a site that sells great outdoor gear and technical clothes at huge bargain prices (like 50% to 70% off).  The catch is that they only sell one item at a time;  and they rotate the item whenever it sells out or time expires.   Unofficial companion sites have even cropped up that help track past items or send text alerts. 

Right now, SAC is clearing out its ski gear inventory.  Its sister site Whiskey Militia (normally skateboarding-related) is unloading snowboarding gear.   I myself bought Salomon F22s and Ride RX bindings  and every day I secretly wish I did not already own a jacket, pants, or goggles, so I could buy new ones from this site.  Hot damn, I love a great bargain. 

Warning: constant refreshing of sites may result in loss of productivity.

# 2008 Mar 5    {Links}    #

Dearest Wordpress, please stop eating my fucking carriage returns.  You are not as smart as you think you are; so please stop trying to validate my posts.  My shit validates just fine, thank you. Yours truly, s-crab.

# 2008 Mar 3    {meta}    #