Exchange: the setup
She: Is your friend– the one you want to set me up with– is he cute?
He: He’s functional.
She: “Functional.” What is that, like a Swiss army knife?
He: Like a credit card.
She: Is he dorky? You know I have a soft spot for dorks.
He: Yeah, he’s busy overdubbing the latest AV as we speak. Look, go have a drink with him. You’ll like him. He’s smart, successful, confident, driven–
She: A tool.
He: I said he was functional.
She: Why are you doing this?
He: Because this, what we’re doing right now, this is unsustainable. I don’t want this.
She: Nobody here has asked anything of you. You are having an allergic reaction to something you do not understand.
He: Do I look available to you? Do I? Do I look sufficiently adaptive to shape my heart in complement of another?
She: That’s a lot of words to say that you’re selfish.
He: Piss off.
She: Just tell me how you feel about me.
He: I think… that you have great legs.
She: I am two nights away from falling for you, and you tell me “you have great legs”. Go fuck yourself.
He: Only thing left to do. Thanks.