Archive for December, 2009

Decade in review: 00′s

Allow me, a roaring tiger of this generation, to comment on several matters, taking the long view:

- Politics: In Sept 2000, everyone thought Governor Bush seemed stupid. Turned out everyone was right. In fact it was worse: President Bush was foolish, intellectually discurious, simple-minded, and inarticulate. But hell if he probably isn’t great to have a drink or a smoke with.

- Politics2: the Republican Party descended into obsolescence. The party now apparently considers its base a frothing mix of xenophobes, homophobes, and fiercely ignorant people. This became the party that seems to hates science and knowledge. One third of the Republican presidential nominees raised their hand when asked whether they did not believe in evolution. EVOLUTION.

- 9/11 was a very bad thing caused by very bad people which gave supposedly good people a license to do many many other bad things.

- Internet: everyone is hot in the pants for “blogging” and “Twitter”, treating them as new media animals, but these are really just new formats of the old world wide web. Consider their touted benefits: very low barrier to wide audiences, democratization of opinion; isn’t that the web?

- Internet 2: Facebook is my generation’s gift to everyone else. Everyone else, also, is using it incorrectly. Who the fuck becomes facebook friends with Doritos and Miley Cyrus? No one.

- Television: make no mistake, this was the golden age of television. The writing was ambitious, the production value soared. The Sopranos, The Wire, Arrested Development, Lost, Mad Men, battlestar gallactica, The Office (UK), even the perennial Simpsons. Consider how many movie actors now feature in shows. (Contrast that with George Clooney’s flight from “ER” in the 90s.). Thankfully PVRs were also invented.

Television2: Critics may call out some of trashy shows, deriding the rise of so-called “reality-shows”. Except there was never such a thing as reality show. This is a label pundits use to exaggerate a commentary on the truth-fiction dichotomy of our time (Frank Rich I am looking at you). No, we just had more game shows (Survivor, The Amazing Race, hell even, The Bachelor) and more documentaries (Real World, Wife Swap, The Deadliest Catch).

- Culture: Everything I liked that used to be an marginal subculture became very popular and very lucrative. My comic books became fodder for movies, as did my fantasy novels; my videogames were now played by obnoxious frat boys; even the word “nerd” changed from the scarlet branding of the unwanted to a playful slap of self-deprecation. All I have left are Magic cards and Settlers of Catan.

Some gratuitous superlatives:–

Company of the Decade: Google
Runner up: Apple

Winners of the decade: Afghan women
Losers: American schoolchildren

Best innovation: iTunes Store (getting people to pay for shit is HARD in the Internet age of Free. I mean, Apps store = people actually paying for software?!).

Worst innovation: Craigslist (Craig Newmark’s refusal to play fair and be a capitalist and monetize CL has gutted newspapers.)

This decade has been so eventful I honestly can’t wait to see the next one. Hopefully not as many people will die due to incompetency, malice, or sheer bad luck. We can probably all give up on the jetpacks (carbon footprint, people). My own predictions are that the attitude towards privacy will continue to change, a huge cyberwar will disrupt everything, and I will probably discontinue this blog by 2016 after the birth of my second son.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CRABBERS! SEE YOU IN THE FUTUREZ!

Plug for the art of others: cormorant’s wife

If you are like me and the holiday times create a thirst for poetry, consider the recently released first book of poems by poet Joan Kane, the Cormorant Hunter’s Wife. (Note: The poet is a friend of selfish crab.) Poet Kane has a life history worth covering in newspaper, and indeed several have (see 1, also 2.) The first run is almost sold out, and it’s unclear if there will be a second. Purchase it directly through paypal, or if you prefer giving your money to middlemen, through Amazon. Support the arts, and a great Columbian. I could gush more about Poet Kane, but– actually I will. Let’s get to it: Joan Kane makes me feel stupid. Not just stupid, but dumb as paint. Joan Kane makes me stutter. Joan Kane has the cumulative life experience of 8 women, and luckily has the mind artful enough to share it with the rest of us. Joan Kane teaches me a new word everyday, with emoticons. Joan Kane quotes apt verse. APT VERSE, people. Joan Kane can pun “eskimo” like wow.

Buy her book. Crab out.

Special Holiday family moment 2009

Me: Why are you out of breath?
Brother: [My wife] just asked me how many pull-ups could I do on the pull-up bar.

winter in NYC

blizzard 2009 - 8