Green Horn mindcuss

The new Green Hornet movie coming out has bewildered me.   Stop me when your mind is properly fucked:

  1. The adventure hero lead is a paunch-less Seth Rogen.
  2. Kato is played by Taiwanese singer Jay Chou .  JAY CHOU.  My last memory of Jay Chou is listening to his albums smolder quietly in the background while performing in a collegiate asian american club circle jerk.  Not an exact memory, but approximate.  ALSO, the tragedy of not having Bruce Lee ever play this role breaks my heart and makes me wish Hollywood would just forever retire the character like a sports jersey. ADDITIONALLY, equally mind blowing is that this role was going to be played by Stephen Chow (see, Shaolin Soccer). That would have been ammaaazzzzing.  I can imagine Rogen uttering buffoonlike comments while Stephen-Chow-as-Kato deadpans a dirty line in street Cantonese.  Oh, why don’t they make movies specifically for me?
  3. LASTLY.  This movie is directed by Michel Gondry.  GONDRY.  Watch that trailer.  Where is the paper-mâché stop animation?   I don’t understand. Is everyone going to hallucinate and/or dream of paper horses or what?

See also, production history, indicating even more ridiculous names attached to past failed launches.


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