I played Goose to my friend’s Maverick at a singles mixer recently, which turned out to be a total bust. It was like wife-hunting in a hockey locker room. Ah well. So afterwards I decided to walk to Ippudo and have myself some akamaru ramen. It’s like that expression: when life gives you lemons, you throw that shit out and you go buy some 15-year single malt scotch.

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