Selfish Crab

sometimes – a POEM

Selfish Crab — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 07:49:21 +0000

Sometimes you’re celebrating someone’s birthday and you look around.
Sometimes there’s a co-located bachelorette party.
Sometimes there’s 6 skinny white girls and one cute asian girl in pearls.
Sometimes your options are obvious.
Sometimes whiskey is involved.
Sometimes they have a “boyfriend”.
Sometimes insistence is met with the Wall of Sisterhood.
Sometimes happiness is borne from sheer effort.

Work trick

photographic crab — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 20:20:17 +0000

I’m slowly learning how to collaborate effectively with having secretarial/administrative staff. My new trick is to wait until they are swamped with work, then give them something even more onerous that’s due tomorrow; wait an hour; and call them to tell since they are so swamped with other work, they can do it next week. Giveth and taketh away.

confessions

Selfish Crab — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 06:37:47 +0000

Sometimes I play a song to purposely elicit an emotion.

dance

Selfish Crab — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:42:02 +0000

Someone recently brought to my attention a video entitled “School dances sure have changed” which has many nuances I would like to enumerate now. First there is the innocent beginning: a headmaster of sorts calls for attention, preps the participants, then lets them fly. Then the Great Pair-Off. We soak in the couples, the mis-matches, the giggling girls and the dead-serious boys. Camera pans to the left: a pretty princess on the floor. There is a parental proxy out of pity. An awkward pairing forced. The parental assist as one is worked against the wall. Then the climax: a triple-wall pinning. This video has floored me.

Day 11 – return to the trail

photographic crab — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:05:27 +0000

the view from the top of Bela Tola by selfish crab.

Where I end my side-trip detour to Hotel Weisshorn, and return to the main path, viz a viz the Swiss hamlet of Gruben.

Day 10 Photos: Hotel Weisshorn

photographic crab — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:16:40 +0000

hotel weisshorn by selfish crab.

The whole point of my side trip was to visit this old historic Hotel, and then walk around it.

socialnet

Selfish Crab — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:56:53 +0000

Apparently, there is something about my friendship that causes diaspora. Or is that just the late twenty-somethings talking.

Haute Route: Day 9 photos

photographic crab — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 01:19:04 +0000

Ascending Col de Torrent by selfish crab.

I am trying to do one day per week.

;)

photographic crab — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:00:52 +0000

If Mark Twain didn’t have to use a fucking winky face, why should I have to?

Love is Beyond the grasp of many without a major attitude adjustment

photographic crab — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:50:31 +0000

Few situations justify use of the word “quixotic” more than the way in which some approach the idea of romantic love, or by modern extension, marriage. Late-twenties man-child ruminating on notions of love, feel free to abort now, reader. A few recent incidents, and a well timed holiday, have brought me here.

One acquaintance (I disclaim friendship explicitly here) recently told a story about corresponding with a young gentleman by telephone, twice a week, for over 8 months, as coordinated by their parents. In his pictures, he seemed “hot”. But yet within five minutes of their first meeting, she knew “he was a dud.” His indictment? When asked his favorite ice cream, he replied, plainly, “vanilla.” My friends cackle in commiseration when they tell this story.

One friend, when rebuked by her parents for being too picky and not openminded enough, upon rejecting men by their bushels based on their profile pic, replied, “Don’t you want the best for me? You don’t want me to settle, do you?”

This concept of Settling, and the extreme fear of it, is utterly toxic. Rather than being contrarian and saying that you, yes you, should be happy with settling, I posit that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SETTLING, and therefore, put aside your spindler nightmares and retire your old maid fantasies. Are expectations of a mate required to be reasonable? If not, then let me inform you that my soulmate is a former Victoria Secret model, who gave it up not because of her love of food– no, her body is like that naturally– but rather, so that she could finish her PhD degree in nuclear engineering, who does the Times crossword in ink, who curses in Cantonese, who is quietly filthy rich. Anything less than that would be settling.

Modern romance sometimes reminds me of a lukewarm Apple product launch. There’s a checklist that’s never complete (Screen is too small, not enough space, no flash support, no multitasking / He’s not tall enough, not cute, isnt my ethnicity, there’s no “wow” factor). It’s all the same problem. Unjustifiable expectations. Love is simply over hyped.

[this post didn't come out nearly as well as i thought it would; maybe next year will bring the definitive valentine's day post.]